a lesson learned

Since my last post a few things has happed. nothing new to report on my friend als actions.i hope all will be well with him. i hope this misstake wont damage his life style one bit, but we will have to wait and see.

where to begin my recap of recent events

I guess it would have to start with me admitting even i need help from time to time. you see ive had some trematic experences. mostly sergeries. that to this day affect my body mind and sperit. and to that end i must admit i need some assistence. im not like normale 23 year olds and i cant pretend to be. when i need help i need to start asking for it, instead of being to proude to do so.

with that said wensday fabuary 16th i was having a night mare. my knee was being operated on while i was still awake. but in actuallity my mind was tring to come to terms with the vary real pain my body was feeling. in reality my knee locked up became as stiff as a board. my kne the mussles an joints were on fire and an i could not move my entire leg. in the dream i screamed out in pain 2 times and on the third time i woke up in mid scream. my knee and leg hurt like hell and i realized my mother had barged into the door to my rescue. She threw off the covers and gently started moving my leg and knee cause i couldent. after thanking her i drifed off to sleep again compleatly exausted by what just transpired.

a few days later. my leg still a little weak by that even i went to a friend of mine's party. i drank way more then i should have lol (about 100 ounces of beer) feeling fgood till the next morning i woke up with a sore throte. i thought nothing of it i figured it was just to much beer. monday the 21st i had a full blown cold coughing vary hard i had a vary bad chest cold. that night i also had the stomache flu and again it was my mother who came to my rescue. she pervided the stringth to help me back to bed where i barely had stringth for myself . the hard coughing and retching left me with borken fains in my face and eyes. y eeyes had blood in them (which i thought was kinda neat lookin lol). but my eyes were bad that i could barely see. and on the day i ndeeded to shower and shave my face i had a delemia. showering would be easy weather i could see or not. but shaving with a razor whould be dangerous. and so i swallowed my pride and asked my mother to shave my face for me.

asking for help dosent make me less of a man. I know now that things will happen to me to this body that will require me to ask for help. i know normale people would be able to do it on there own. but im not. you can not have 7 sergeries or a cold that wipes you out. plus have a phisicall dissabilty. cause the fact is colds or sore joints is only gona make it garder for me. and if i try and be all macho only one person will be hurt by such foolish behaveyour, me. so why take a risk and needlessly hurt myself when theres someone who is willing to help if i ask.

I have nothing to prove. asking for help dosent make me less of a man. if i need help and ask then it makes me a smarter man. Now after being sick for ten days i can say i learnt a valueable lession. dontt ever let pride get in the way of good judgement and comon sence. if you cant acomplish something on your own safely then ask for help. thats what are loved ones are there for. to help us when we cant help ourselves.