happier days

The day of love is coming :( Last year i had a gf. but i just couldent take an 18 year old giving me orders. telling me what i cou;d and could not say. or telling me to trust her while she goes to parties and kisses other girls. correct me if im wrong but if ur dating a guy. isent kissing girls a form f cheat (which is something she said she would NEVER do) yea right and im a line backer for the new england patriots LOL. braking up with her was easy. i want a girl friend not someone who thinks there my commanding officer. and i felt like every little thing was going to get my ass court marshaled

In all fairness though. even last valintines day. i was also thinking of the girl i first fell inlove with. who i love with all my heart till this vary day. i felt meeting and being with her was so right, before her i never did anything that felt as right as this did. she melted my heart and for the first time in my life i looked at the dissablirty and the harrasment i went through as if it was a good thing. to me it suddenly became a good thing. it helped make me the man she loved. For the first time in all my life i felt that being me was something wonderful.

indeed it was wonderful. i never smiled or laughed or was so genuinely happy in all my life. my nightmares gone. people make fun of me, it dident phase me cause id come home get online and there she was.i felt invincable.

But as easy as it comes it goes. people got involved said i cheated and this and that and the otherthing. why the hell would i cheat and ruin the happest times of my life for what a piece of ass. i wouldent jeperdize my relationship with her for all the gold in fort knox. it wasent enough though . tried and tried i never got her back, an i lost her>

now almost 3 years later we still talk and we talk about the good ole days. i cant help but still feel love for her. shes the only one i feel who understands me. and even for a net relationship we have a huge bond. . not of the girls i mentioned can hold a candel to her. thoes girls dont know what its like to be a real woman if rthey tried. granted one day they will be...maybe...

I know nothing i say or do will ever bring her back to me. but at the same time i cant change how i feel eather. shes my best friend. the one i can tell damn near anything to. and if i could turn back the hands of time to the day we started going out i would. just to enjoy it all over again :) but i am only a mortal man, and that is beyound my ability.

if the fates some how help her find this . then just know i love u your a beautiful princess and and even though we probally wont be together. the fact i love u wont change